Counting Down

This is not about dying; it's about living.

For fifty years, I counted up.

Birthdays were milestones of accumulation (more candles, more experiences, more time ahead). The mathematics of my life felt infinite and limitless. Each year just adding to a sum of my experiences.

Then I turned 50. Something shifted.

Not gradually, but with the sudden clarity of my camera lens snapping into focus. I real…